I think some of the search engine terms that pop up on my stats page are downright hilarious. For example, can you imagine the look on the two peoples faces that landed here because they were searching the following quote:

“Everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay it’s not the end”

I hope they landed on my Ikea comic. The one with the wooden Pegasus dropping an F-bomb.

Anypoops, I’ve come to the realization that my blog title is a little too clever for it’s own good. People are arriving here with serious inquisitions about an actual, “second lunch,” of which, I am of no help. It takes about 3.1 seconds to realize that this isn’t a food blog in the slightest, and you can rest assured dear readers that I have no intentions of ever turning it into one. But that doesn’t mean for one magical evening, I can’t roll up my sleeves and put my cooking chops on display.

Damn, those are some nice chops (it’s okay, I’m Asian).

…Moving on.

Let’s make a pepperoni pizza Second Lunch style!

 

I’ve always felt that recipes were more of a guideline anyway. It’s good to finagle around with the ingredients and exercise a little panache. Let’s continue making this pizza.

You may have noticed that I didn’t take any of the ingredients out of the packaging. I’m almost positive that the high temps should incinerate everything, releasing the ingredients into the mix. To help pass the time and bring about that “burnt to a crisp” elegance we’re after, I would suggest getting lost in an activity to ensure we definitely burn the pizza. WatchingTV, Youtube, or even sightseeing are  great ways to go about this.

 

 

 

 

It looks deceiving, but I’m pretty sure that by burning the pizza we essentially “lock in” all the flavors. Now that our pizza has a protective outer layer we should, um, plant it in some soil.

Okay, the cat is out of the bag. I have very little cooking prowess to lean on. I’m probably cooking at a 5th grade level if I were to be honest with myself.

So what about you guys? What funny search engine queries are driving people to your blog?

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18 Responses to “How did you get this URL?”

  1. atelian33

    haha I literally have a post going up tomorrow about the same thing! I don’t know how these people are landing on my page. Here’s one search that got them to me today.

    “guys says something girls get mad girls do something wrong girls get mad”

    i have no clue what that even means, never mind it is linked to my page.

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  2. Jen and Tonic

    Here are some search terms I’ve received:

    colonic irrigation insertion my anus
    forever alone unicorn
    helicopter penis
    punch you repeatedly
    looking for sex on craigslist deciphered
    ronnie jersey shore
    my sister is a butt face

    And those are just to name a few…

    Like

    Reply
    • timmer

      Those are amazing. Every single one is a damn funny one-liner, let alone a search engine term, but I particularly find “forever alone unicorn” and “helicopter penis” hilarious.

      Like

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  3. Hanna

    Hahaha, what a place to end up when searching for that teenage, tumblr-y quote. My personal favorite that’s been popping up my my stats lately is “ian ‘kid zoom’ strange, home” …what does any of that even mean?

    Also, a lot of people searched for “sabres win” which makes me happy since I’m a Buffalo girl.

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    Reply
  4. Svelte

    Haha…too funny!!! Especially since I’m about to bake an Orange Cake with 6 less ingredients than required!!!*fingers crossed*

    Back in the day when my blog was public, I’d get some strange and funny searches. Usually, I made them into the subject line for my following post! Haha…was always misleading to the actual content!!!

    Like

    Reply
    • timmer

      Orange cake? Sounds fun and like something I would enjoy. I also can’t imagine it having more than 10 ingredients, so that could be quite the culinary improv session.

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  5. Bee - http://allofbee.wordpress.com/

    You may already know this, but that quote features in the movie, ‘The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel’… don’t ask me how that makes it relate to your blog :)
    Public service announcement complete

    Like

    Reply
    • timmer

      I did not know that , Bee! But I assumed someone had already beaten me to it. Is it a good movie? Do you recommend it? It sounds “exotic” and “marigold-y”

      Like

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  6. Nicolle

    First, originally I was researching ideas to change the layout for my blog, but somehow I decided it would be better to just go through your posts I hadn’t seen yet.

    Usually, search terms relate to my topics, but here are a few that stand out (I do have to point out that I my blog has made a few transitions before it focused of food and booze):

    the changing shapes of flowing clouds
    egg peace
    sheila dhand
    nude backpacking
    how to get sick
    bunny eggs

    Like

    Reply
    • timmer

      I think blog layouts are awesome. I wish I was well versed in CSS so I could have more control with my own layout. Good luck with your own redesign. Thanks for going through the older stuff!

      Like

      Reply
  7. Dil's Window

    Haha, you’re funny! :) It’s nice to have a bit of “Second Lunch” after a long day. Keep up the excellent work!
    P.S. Is it weird that I like Ernesto? He is something of a pet, isn’t he?

    Like

    Reply
    • timmer

      Thanks, Dil! And not weird at all to like Ernesto. He’s kind of a fan favorite around these part. He’s like the dog I never had growing up, haha.

      Like

      Reply
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