The other day I was trying to think of a way to “spice up” the workplace a little bit. So I took a page out of the Boy and Girl Scouts book, and also Foursquare, and I created some badges for anyone who knows what it’s like to punch in, plug away at a desk for 8 hrs a day, and then punch out.

Below are several badges that I’ve thought up. Each is titled, along with the information on how to unlock them. Click on the image to be directed to larger image which you can then printout, laminate, and display proudly as a non-violent way to stick it to the man.

This is a self-regulating game, so don’t go gloating about badges you didn’t unlock, BECAUSE, TRUST ME, WE’LL ALL F###ING KNOW.

Good luck.

Beat the Clock

“Clock in” at or before the start of the work day for an entire week. Can be strung together for a badge streak earning the designation x2, x3, x4, etc.

Words with Frenemies

Beat a co-worker in a game of Words With Friends 5 consecutive times.

Sleep Working

Take a paid 30 minute uninterrupted nap at your desk (Lunch break DOES NOT count)

Fly Swatter

Repel the advances of at least 5 co-workers (Superiors count as 2 co-workers, interns 0.5 co-workers)

Mad Men

Achieve a “buzz” while on lunch break and finish your workday without being suspected of being slightly inebriated.

Virality

Show 3 viral Youtube videos that no one in the office has seen. Must be completed in one work week (week cannot carry over weekend)

Just Did It

Hook up with someone who has unlocked The Fly Swatter Badge.

*Special Note: You cannot obtain the Just Did It Badge if you have unlocked the The Fly Swatter Badge.

The Office Sleuth

Correctly identify the person(s) stealing lunches from the common fridge

Crop Duster

Break wind upon the start of a meeting without being caught.

Rumor Mill

Start a rumor at the workplace that cannot be traced back to you. Completed once you are told said rumor by another co-worker. 8 hours to unlock once rumor has started.

Honey Badger

Special: Can only be unlocked on Friday.

For the last 3 hours of work you must do absolutely no work. No other badges can be unlocked while attempting obtain the Honey Badger Badge.

 

Click here for Office Merit Badges vol 2

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175 Responses to “Badges: Workplace Edition”

  1. Handsome Lover of Words

    awkward comment badge- you must give out five awkward comments to your coworkers. Example- that belt looks excellent. those are some incredible socks where did you get them. I love your combover!

    Hold a handshake for thirty seconds badge- self explanatory

    These are hilarious- I am getting my boy scout sash back out and I will be sewing these on as I earn them

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  2. Jamie

    I have no suggestions right now but I just want to say I poked around your site for 20 minutes instead of doing actual work. I think it was 20 minute well spent. I’m a huge fan now!

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  3. Rae

    Haha, these are awesome! Now I wish I had more people in my office so I could achieve some of these.

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    • timmer

      You can cut the recipes in half for smaller portions. (I heard someone say that once, I think it works in this situation)

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  4. Clip Snark

    The Office Sleuth badge for my office would be to find out who left a thimble-full of coffee in the coffee pot and left the warming burner on! Not to mention they didn’t make another pot! :-)

    Love these!

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  5. mrbricksworld

    Congratulations on being Freshly Badged…oops, my bad, I mean Freshly Pressed.
    I don’t want to name any names in my office, because they know who they are (KIm H, David T and Scott A.) but I would like to nominate a new badge called the Brown Nose badge. ‘Nuff said.

    Mr. Bricks

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  6. susielindau

    These are hilarious! I hope you can track how many badge downloads you get!

    I would add the WP badge. You earn it after doing a post-a-day at your desk for a week…
    Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed! Now you can make a FP badge and pin it on your site!

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  7. truthspew

    You’ve worked in an office environment for far too long. Those badges are awesome. On the outset I’d say I’ve got maybe four badges to my credit thus far. .

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  8. adamotomy

    Reblogged this on adamotomy and commented:
    This post by the hilariously creative Second Lunch is absolutely perfect. Read on and enjoy.

    Like

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  9. maryfollowsthelamb

    A box of Kleenex for the phony “call in sick” line…
    A roll of toilet paper from most potty breaks…
    A snow shovel next to a palm tree for most useless ideas…

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  10. emmahevezi

    i think there should be a badge for number of emails successfully ignored. or number of times that the coffee machine has been visited, after 5 visits you receive a badge :)
    but awesome ideas and i think that there should be some more for those in retail (i.e. me) thank you
    keep up the fab ideas :)

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  11. blackshepherd

    How about the vaunted “I Love You Badge” or the “In Fact, I’m “In Love” with you Badge”…I’d work overtime for that one…

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  12. mjharvell

    How about the “Somebody has a lot of time on their hands at work to think up all of these badges” badge? Great post – funny – thanks for sharing!

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  13. Christopher

    I’ll be working on some of these badges this week. Thank you for the end-of-week goal. Is there a badge for managing to do no work the entire time you’re at work? Not even necessarily on a Friday?

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    • timmer

      Wow, I don’t know what that badge would look like or be called….I’ll have to think about that one…

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  14. 1daughter

    How about a variation of the Crop Duster badge for using someone else’s microwave to heat up a noxious lean cuisine?

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    • timmer

      Oh my god. Is this possible? I have no idea how to even begin making an app. Do I wish for it? SOMEBODY DOOOOO THISSSSS

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  15. Joe Pineda

    This is amazing. You could even market them as Office Achievements for the gamer crowd!

    I think I’ve only earned the super nerdy Beat the Clock badge. I don’t think my workplace is the best place for spontaneous sexings.

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  16. DrCritical

    That’s awesome! People should totally incorporate those at work… We’d get so much done.

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  17. foodbitchess

    How about the prairie dog badge? The person who is most connected to office gossip because they seem to pop up whenever there is good stuff to be found.

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  18. Lulu Simawati

    Mama take this badge from me
    I can’t use it anymore
    It’s getting dark too dark to see
    Feels like I’m knockin’ on heaven’s door
    :)

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  19. Mrs. American

    Great post and a reminder of my old 9 to 5. By the way, achieving the “Mad Men” badge on a Friday during the holiday season with the entire office (including your boss) is absolutely horrible when you have tons of work to do. Thanks for the great memory, it was also a great excuse to not answer my desk phone.

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  20. jertzylan

    I love the badge idea, great stuff! How ’bout a badge called “Credit Check,” which you can earn if you catch (and successfully embarrass) a co-worker in the act of trying to take credit for something you did yourself. The graphic could maybe be a credit card swiper/keypad saying “denied!”

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  21. Sarah Harris

    How about the percenter badge for the guy that whenever he talks about someone they show up.
    The adopt the bosses’ child badge for being stuck hiring the bosses child for the summer or longer!
    The chipmunk badge for being first in line for “leftovers in the kitchen!”
    The devil badge for always being the devils advocate
    The packrat badge for having hoarded enough office supplies to last them as long as they’ve worked there.
    The Dark Side badge for being the first person to tell someone the bad stuff about the company
    The Cheese badge for the person that can’t handle when it’s moved.
    This is hilarious, I could go on and on…

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  22. tablespoonofflavors

    wow this sounds like fun…how about a ..

    JACK-IN-THE-BOX BADGE?

    For those who were able to give an extreme and shocking surprise to 5 co-workers in an hour!

    Ghost Worker Badge

    Being able to finish one working day without uttering a single word.

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  23. jymiely

    hey, i deserved the Honey Badger! I’m not doing anything in my office for the last 4hours!! Hooray! I thought it doesn’t benefit me!! haha!

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  24. HoaiPhai

    Great badges! How about a Creative Quitter badge for an especially loud and/or disruptive and/or “stick-it-to-’em” resignation? Place it on the former employee’s empty cubicle and mail out a commemorative certificate to the person so honoured.

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  25. smkelly8

    There needs to be a parasite badge for someone who runs a side business — ebay, blogging for cash, etsy — during work hours at another job.

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  26. midnitechef

    Too funny!

    How about “Hold the phone” badge: transfer all of your calls to your co-worker for a week.

    Congrats on being Freshly Pressed :)

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  27. PostCollegiate

    These are hilarious! And seriously, what is up with people taking lunches from the shared kitchen? When did food thievery become so commonplace?

    Like

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  28. ***The LensMaster

    YOu are a genius!!!! Who would have thought! I myself is addicted to Foursquare badges.

    Like

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  29. timmer

    Wow you guys! This is CRAWESOME (hybrid word consisting of crazy and awesome I just invented). I wish I could individually respond to all of your comments with an equally awesome comment…but I’m at work. So just know I’ve read all of them and that I’ve internet high-fived each and every single one of your avatars.

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  30. karmicspins

    If there’s an Office Sleuth badge, is there also a “Well, You Shouldn’t Have Put It In The Common Fridge, Then” badge? :-s I love these badges, I might just print them and leave them in random places around work hahaha.

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  31. standrewslynx

    1. Coffee Monster Badge. Unlocked after 7 trips to the coffee machine in one day.
    2. The Pro Crastinator Badge. Unlocked after a 20 minute trip spent “checked-in” at the toilets/water cooler/corridor printer.

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  32. PCC Advantage

    “The Fly Swatter: Repel the advances of at least 5 co-workers (Superiors count as 2 co-workers, interns 0.5 co-workers)” ~ Probably the most hilarious things I’ve read all day.

    Brilliant idea! Right now, I think I’ll try to work on the Sleep Working badge… ;)

    Like

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  33. Sarah Harris

    Reblogged this on Makes Me Wander and commented:
    This cracked me up! We are so obsessed with badges in our house finishing sewing my son’s Cub Scout patches, beginning work on Boy Scout merit badges, my daughter wanted to steal all my old Girls Scout Badges… Now I may just let her since I can earn my own!

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  34. goodoldgirl

    How about the HR badge?

    To get it, you have to counsel at least three other employees in one week on how to be an exemplary employee. ;)

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  35. d_vaz

    I love this these are brilliant! What about the question badge where you only speak in questions all morning. Or the silent badge where you go a certain number of hours without speaking. Or the inappropriate attire badge where you come to work as if you’re dressed for the beach.

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  36. Rochelle

    Awesome post! Thanks for the laughs :) I have totally earnt the Mad Men badge.

    Some other ideas for badges …
    IT girl/boy badge: enjoy a work-free day at your desk while you wait for IT to get around to fixing your computer.
    Pen prefect: don’t lose a pen for one week (it’s a tough one!)
    Duke Nukem badge: explode your lunch in the microwave every day and leave the splatters without being caught.
    Invasion of the Potty Snatchers: point at yell (think Invasion of the Body Snatchers) at a worker who haven’t washed their hands after using the toilet.

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    • timmer

      Haha, too good. You guys are better than I am at this. I’ll definitely be using one, but I’ll keep the suspense by not telling you which one!

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  37. timeforvacationyet

    This is post is hilarious!

    Hide n Seek Badge for successfully identifying the secret hiding place of a co-worker who mysteriously disappears for extended periods of time throughout the day. Bonus: Tag badge for yelling “Tag, You’re It!” when you find them.

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  38. Tia Began

    Hopefully, you do not work for a company that is paying you to do something. I marvel at how many people who ‘work’ for a living are playing around on their computer.
    Maybe you could moonlight for Disney’s Family Fun Magazine. They have a series on kids earning badges for expanding their horizons. Although, I’m pretty sure Disney would have a stricter work ethic than you do.

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  39. goodoldgirl

    I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Great posts, keep ‘em coming!

    Like

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  40. Spider42

    A truly brilliant idea!
    Thanks so very much for sharing, gave me a good, much needed laugh as Friday rolls to a close. :)

    I’m going to reblog this and might even try out some of these badges at work (on the hush-hush of course, boss cannot know!) when I get the chance!

    Cheers.

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    Reply
  41. SociallyUnattractive

    lmsao you’re almost making me wish i was back in corporate america! but you forgot the buzzword bingo badge – to be used at all employee meetings! my consistent winner was synergesic!

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  42. Lingerie

    … [Trackback]…

    […] There you will find 62121 more Infos: getsecondlunch.com/2012/03/12/badges-workplace-edition/ […]…

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  43. free penny press

    Oh I’m in ..*twists invisible mustache**..
    now to decide which one I want to use to WAKE-UP Corporate America with..
    this is genius..
    Lynne

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  44. shoutabyss

    Reblogged this on Shouts from the Abyss and commented:
    This post was featured on Freshly Pressed earlier this year. As such, it scarcely needs more love but I can’t help myself. I think the idea has potential although this post was far too positive. Clock in on time? I don’t think so! The nap idea, though? I like the idea of getting pad to nap! And Mad Men? Classic! (And, I’m forced to admit, one that I’ve personally earned.) What is needed now is more ideas for Workplace Badges, this time with a decidedly more negative twist. Help me out here. What can you come up with? Shock me if you can.

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